Reigningchi

Here are some guidelines and tips for the lady or gentleman that’s dating or ready to date. Whether you are a Christian or not, you will find this article helpful and insightful to you or to someone you can share it with.

1. Develop your relationship with God.
Your relationship with God is the most important relationship in your life. You cant understand love till you really take a hold of all that God did for us through Jesus. Then you will realize how very special and valuable to God you are and you will learn to value yourself.

2. Do not enter into a relationship with someone you know you are not going to marry.
Sometimes you meet people that you feel a liking for. But deep down in your heart you know you wont marry them but you keep dating them. This is wrong, because you are blocking the door of finding love for yourself and for that person. Eventually if you stay too long and one of you wants to move on , it becomes a challenge for the other partner to let go because of the emotional attachments.

3. Be sincere with yourself
Ask yourself deep down if truly you are happy with the relationship. If you find that you seem to be the one putting in all the efforts to make the relationship work, then you need to be honest with yourself. You need to confront your date and if they wont change then its best you leave them.

4. Date people who share the same values as you do.
It’s true that we get attracted to people who see life in a different perspective than we do. But in the area of our value system, we should date people who share the same or similar values with us. If for example you are one that takes going to church, biblical activities seriously then your date should share the same value. He or she may not be as serious as you but he should take it seriously.

5. Love yourself
Learn to love yourself. You are special. You are unique . Don’t spend so much time thinking of others only, trying so much to please them that you do not even take care of yourself . Like the lady in Songs of Solomon 1:6 who said… Look not upon me, because I am black, because the sun hath looked upon me: my mother’s children were angry with me; they made me the keeper of the vineyards; but mine own vineyard have I not kept.
Work on yourself, take time to develop yourself. If you need to learn a skill or take a course to improve yourself do so. The more you respect and value yourself , the more you will be respected as well.

6. Have an open relationship
What I mean by this is: do not hide your relationship. There are those that can see things you don’t, probably because they are wiser, older and have had enough experiences to caution you when they think something is wrong. Listen to them. Experience is not the best teacher. Instructions and wisdom from those ahead of you is.

7. Do not place too much expectations on the relationship
When dating, its important to have healthy expectations for the relationship. But this does not mean you have to marry everyone you date. Do not place so much attachment on the relationship, that you become frustrated if it does not lead to marriage. God may be saving you from something or he may have better things in store for you.

8. Be prayerful: Always sanctify the Lord in your heart.
Ask God to remove anything that’s taking his place in your life. This means that you are not giving the relationship the honor and glory that’s due God in your life. Talk to the Lord. Ask for his help. Pray for his wisdom, guidance and protection. He longs to be a part of everything that concerns you. Nothing is too small or too big to bring to him. Even when you think you have hurt him, his arms are wide open to you.

9. Don’t be in a rush:
Not all relationships lead to marriage. So have the right attitude. If it works fine. Trust that if marriage is in line with Gods will for your life, in due time, the right person will come along.

10. Take up activities

This will help you develop your social skills and stimulate your mind. Don’t be so into your relationship that you don’t have time for other activities in church , at work in school. There should be a balance. These different groups you’re a part of help to develop your personality. They act as a stimulus to your growth and development in different areas of your life. Your social acquaintances at work and church are very important. One person alone can’t teach you everything you need to know about life.

11. Find out your purpose in life.
Your purpose in life is to know the Lord Jesus , serve him and bring others to him. This is what will give to you the ultimate fulfillment, peace and satisfaction in life that you desire. Whether you are married or not is not the issue because some people have the wrong notion that you are not successful till you are married and this puts so many singles under the pressure to marry just so that others can accept them. They forget that many are unhappy in their marriages. Some have said that you are not complete till you are married. That’s wrong. For God made you complete.
Find your completeness in him then you will be a better partner to your husband or wife.

God bless you